Jon has been working on his Family Life merit badge for Boy Scouts. He has to complete two projects within the merit badge requirements, both of which must help the family. One of Jon’s projects was to clean out our garage. The floor of our garage was littered with outdoor toys that sat in a big pile, collecting dust. The kids have grown and they don’t use many of the toys anymore.
So we asked Jon to clean the garage. Part of the task was to sort through the toys and give the ones that were still in good condition to charity.
We regularly clean our house out of things that we don’t use anymore. We have a favorite charity in town that we like to take our things to. We don’t take our used items to Goodwill – we aren’t sure where our stuff really ends up. We do take our items to a local church and preschool in a neighborhood where the residents are so happy to see the things that we give and use the items right away.
Jon and the other kids know all about the charity, about being philanthropic, about recycling things that we don’t use anymore for the benefit of others.
My kids also know about the related tax benefits.
Jon, with this project, was required to document each item that we were giving away and putting a price tag on it. He knew that the value had to be a ‘garage-sale value’ as recommended by the Internal Revenue Service. And Jon knew that this step was important because our family would get to take a deduction on our income taxes for the items we had given away.
So Jon dutifully listed each scooter and each parachute and each hockey stick, applying a value to them.
And now I am incorporating those figures into our family’s tax return.
Thank you, Jon!
Teaching our kids to negotiate
February 27, 2009
Yesterday we introduced the topic of teaching our kids about negotiation.
Not the kind where our kids say, “Ah, mom!” and use the word “but” and talk back. No, not at all. I really do not stand for that anymore in my house.
But I do want my kids to negotiate all financial arrangements with me so that they can get practice negotiating. And I like to coach them when they have the opportunity to negotiate with the outside world.
An example of negotiating is when I give one of my kids a chore:
“Max, I need you to sweep out the garage.”
Silence.
“Max, there is three bucks in it for you”
That, in and of itself, was a negotiation. Max was in a position in his relationship with me that he knew he had some leverage. He wasn’t in trouble that day (for a change) and he felt he could negotiate with me. And he did so with a pregnant pause.
And I needed the garage swept!
I like my kids to try to negotiate every single transaction with me. I think it gives them the skills that they need and can obtain only through practice. Negotiation can be so complex and rich and varied, that I think it is important to have all kinds of negotiations and outcomes with one’s kids.
I have told my kids, every time I propose a chore, they should start negotiating. Sometimes they forget (which I think I might be grateful for.) Sometimes I won’t negotiate. That is a good thing for them to learn. And sometimes I will. I tell them that if I propose $4 for a chore, they should counter with a higher number. Always. Sometimes I will give in, sometimes I won’t. Just like in any other negotiation in life.
Now, granted, my kids can’t say no to me. If I have a chore I need to have done, it WILL get done. But I tell my kids that with anyone else, in a financial transaction, they can always walk. And we practice that, too.
Justine
